Rates of ADHD in Adult Women Rises

A recent study shows that the number of women, ages 20-44 years old, taking ADHD medication has increased by more than 250%.  A possible reason for this is the fact that as children, girls show less external symptoms such as hyperactivity than boys do.  Girls who have ADHD are usually just thought of as being lazy and uncaring.  This study points to the fact that marriage and parenthood usually help a woman see that they have a problem, a problem that they or their parents didn't see when they were younger.  As a parent, it is important to be calm and organized, many parents dealing with the stresses of both work and taking care of their children.  When a woman realizes that she is having extreme trouble doing these tasks, it is a tell tale sign that she should go in for help and see what is going on.  Another fact that this study presents is that mothers are much more likely than fathers to come clean about the problems they are having and are much more likely to go to a psychiatrist to get help.  I think this is a relevant study to being a college student because you hear about many students taking ADHD medication when they have an exam the next day or a major project when they have not been diagnosed with this condition.  I think that it's important to listen to your body and your mind and if you feel that you have to take medication that you haven't been prescribed to pass a test, then maybe it is time to go see a psychologist and get referred to a psychiatrist for medication purposes.

Where You Live Can Affect Physical and Mental Health

In an interesting study conducted in Atlanta back in the nineties, researchers found that women who moved to affluent communities had significantly lower percentages of having diabetes and being obese.  This is important because it is also known that people living in lower SES conditions have  higher chances of having a mental disorder and if we use common sense it can be inferred that people who live in affluent communities are more likely to be healthy all the way around.  What is most interesting about this study is that people actually changed when they moved.  It's not like they had lived in an affluent community their whole life and were tested next to people who lived in lower SES communities their whole life.  As far as being in college, this could mean that maybe we should pick a nicer dorm or apartment over another dorm or apartment complex that isn't so nice and we should decorate the dorms and apartments in a way that looks and feels nice.  Keeping organized is also important.  Always remember that not all research has a cause and effect relationship, this is just a correlation of as the communities affluence goes up, health problems go down.

It's Hard Out Here... when you go at it alone

So there is this place on campus, maybe some of you have heard of it...it's called the Strom Thurmond Fitness and Wellness center. At "the strom" you can find endless resources to help you with one of the most important elements to achieving and maintaining optimal physical health: exercise and physical activity. Already play a sport? Awesome, there is an intramural sports program that is always looking for more members. Not really the sports type? How about group fitness? Whoa, that's intimidating. Or at least that's what most people think who have absolutely no interest in working out on equipment alone, but want to get fit think. Now I am a little biased I know, but group fitness in my opinion is one of the best things that can happen to a college student who is short on time, money, and motivation. It is convenient, effective and most importantly FUN. Seriously, there are so many different formats that anyone can find a class that they genuinely enjoy. For $20 dollars a semester you have unlimited access to all the classes you can physically stand!

Maybe working out is not number one on your list of priorities right now. That's perfectly understandable. But something I would recommend if you want to make positive choices for your physical and mental health as you are about to take on yet another semester of difficult courses..is to schedule in a group fitness class or even just a designated time to work out. If you treat the class or time block as you would your academic classes, you will find yourself accountable for being healthy and rarely able to make excuses not to work out. It's important to remember that the lifestyle you form now will set the pace for the rest of your life. Diet, exercise and an over all healthy lifestyle will reap long lasting benefits that only come from smart decisions in youth.

Here are some links to help you get started, and to know you don't have to go at it alone!

http://www.fitsugar.com/Tips-Starting-New-Fitness-Class-710296

http://www.shapefit.com/group-fitness.html

http://campusrec.sc.edu/fitness/group/schedules/

Depression Becoming More and More Common

A scary, new study shows that 1 in 10 adults are on an antidepressant medication and 1 in 25 adolescents aged 12 to 17 are taking antidepressants.  Also, researchers found that more people should probably be on antidepressants than actually are.  The survey that was conducted included 12,000 people and researchers discovered that many people have depressive symptoms but are not on any type of medication for depression.  One major flaw in this study is to consider how many people just went through a traumatic experience or who were just having a bad day.  It is scary to imagine that more than 1 in 10 adults should be on an antidepressant.  It almost seems that if all of our problems are now being solved with medication because we show some depressive symptoms.  It is important to remember that there are many people who are greatly affected by this terrible disease but we have to wonder how many people just make up symptoms so they can get medication. Being in college can be stressful and really take a strain on us sometimes. It is important to stay healthy, get sleep, eat right, etc in order to keep our mental health at an A+ level. If you ever feel like life is getting too much to handle, remember there are free therapy sessions offered through USC and there is no reason not to use these helpful sessions to clear our minds and remind us of what is important. 

It's Hard Out Here... when there are so many bright colors

So you're going down the grocery aisle, it's the one you love the most. Brightly colored boxes with eye-catching graphics and innovative package designs overwhelm you and you don't know where to start. Soon your entire buggy is filled with all the colors found on the front of the box of Lucky Charms resting on top of the gigantic mound, and the scary thing is, everything is pre-packaged. Same thing happens when you approach the hot line in Russell House or any buffet style spread..so many options, such a small plate. Classic solution: a little bit of everything, then you want some more of whatever that was, and you pair that with some bread and whoa...there's a dessert bar.

No wonder they're saying that diversity causes obesity. I know that everyone is entitled to options, but let's face it..the more unhealthy ones you have, the more likely you will chose them. This article definitely surprised me as I read past the headline. I was thinking that eating different foods from around the world was causing this when actuality, it's as simple as the amount of color choices found in a bag of m&ms.

Read this, and maybe you'll find yourself not so frustrated by the "lack of options" on campus...but then again you may be a super hero with indestructible will power. Everyone does have a kryptonite though, mine is cereal that has animated characters on the front. But is it the actual food that's your weakness, or just the fact that it's an option?

Read more, only because you can:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8F0eef/www.fooducate.com/blog/2011/07/26/could-food-diversity-be-causing-obesity

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/diverse-food-options-blamed-for-rising-obesity-2320028.html

Its Hard Out Here...when your stomach is screaming at you and you've already used your "swipe"

We all know that feeling, for some of us early risers it hits us around 9:00am or 10:00am....for those who are up later, it perpetuates the debate of breakfast at lunch time or skipping breakfast and going for lunch. This is hunger, and it is a relentless, unforgiving force of nature that we have no choice but to confront several times throughout the day. If we choose not to, it will cause all sorts of fun side effects including: inability to focus, loud and embarrassing noises coming from the abdomen (usually in a quiet environment), and even severe headaches. Now as fun as that sounds, I would rather compromise. I have found a way for us busy college students to do this in a perfectly healthy way with the help of others out there fighting the same battle against mid-meal period hunger pangs. Below are the links to sites that contain the prized information we need to know the difference between a snack and a meal. These two are way to commonly confused, therefore not contributing to optimal physical AND mental health which is everyone's goal right?? Okay well mostly everyone I would imagine. Happy Snacking!

Yayyy for low-calorie snacking!

http://www.wholeliving.com/photogallery/sweet-snacks-under-200

http://www.shapefit.com/best-snacks.html

http://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/top-20-healthy-snacks

Why Sleep is Important for a College Student

I am awake doing my blog at 3:45 AM because the fire alarm at my apartment complex has been going off for almost an hour on multiple occasions.  What's worse is that there is no actual fire or threat.  Someone thought it would be clever or funny to pull the alarm and now it will NOT stop going off.  The weekend is supposed to be a time for a college student to catch up on their sleep (atleast for me) and the fact that my place of living is taking away that right is a major issue.  An article on recovering from workweek sleep loss says that women cope better with sleep deprivation than men do..so that's good to hear!  Through a sleep a study, researchers found that a weekend of "catching up" on sleep is not enough to heal the sleep deprivation we acquire during the week.  This article is an interesting read and I encourage everyone to check it out because it is very important for every student to understand how important sleep is to attain success.  

Sincerely,

A really tired college student 

It's Hard Out Here ...when someone expects you to read for class, let alone for "pleasure"

"Reading. Hmm, well it's okay when I'm on the beach, or maybe in a waiting room...wait, does twitter or facebook count?" This is the mindset of most college kids out there these days, which is understandable in the fast-paced society we live in. Magazines are colorful and fun to skim through between classes, iPad apps are animated when professors always aren't, television is well, easy to do. Why on earth would we actually try to keep our place in a black and white size twelve Times New Roman type-faced novel when we can have pictures and slideshows instead? Being the physical health freak that I'm assuming most of the readers (if you're out there) have caught on to me being, I read a lot. The composition of this reading is 90% health/fitness/nutrition and 10% essential information aka "quality social networking time." Although most of my reading is done online, I will credit the series of "Eat This, Not That Books" as one of my few but fantastic go-to reads. I own all of them, from the "Drink This, Not That" to the edition for kids.

These books were created secretly for college students in my personal opinion. They are bold, colorful, in your face, easy reads that contain some of the most classified information out there such as: The Cheesecake Factory's nutritional information (heads up, don't eat there...ever). To me these books are sacred, and if you are trying to maintain optimal physical health in a world of eating out then these are the key. Throughout the years, "Eat This Not That" has become not only a very successful series, but a phenomenon because of how excellent of a job the authors did providing people with options, instead of the classic "eat this and only this, meanwhile forget everything you ever enjoyed eating" books that occupy the clearance section in your local BooksAMillion.

Luckily, internet prevails as always. So, if you already made the excuse "I'm a broke college student, and I refuse to pay $14.99 for a book that tells me information I probably don't really want to hear anyway," sorry that won't work. Because, Men's Health has a blog in partnership with "Eat This Not That" packed full with useful information to anyone who cares to read it! Now if that doesn't get you excited, think of Krispey Kreme doughnuts fresh off the conveyor belt, now channel that giddy, warm feeling of pure excitement into copying and pasting the link posted below. Now you will discover what to eat at Krispey Kreme next time you go that does not equal a day's worth of caloric intake. See, everyone wins..except the freshman fifteen! Now that's reading even this Sociology 340 class should all try!

once again, I failed to ask how to embed sorry!!

link: http://eatthis.menshealth.com/blog

Good Mental Health in College is a Must!

If you've ever seen the thriller, The Roommate, you know what a scary situation it can become when a mental illness gets out of control.  While this movie may be a little bit of a stretch, it is not unheard of.  I have a friend whose roommate freshman year had a mental break and became very obsessive, controlling, etc.  Handling the situation became difficult and eventually they had to be separated because the problems were not solving themselves.  In the roommate, the character Leighton Meester plays becomes obsessive, jealous, and controlling over her roommate which eventually turns into violence.  She didn't want her roommate to have friends, a boy friend, or any social life outside of her.  While many may think that something like this would never happen to them, it is still important to learn what mood and personality disorders are out there and be on the look out for symptoms.  While it is not a good idea to diagnose someone, you could be the one to tell them to get some help.  College needs to be a safe, learning environment where everyone has the same opportunities.  Positive mental health is a must in a college environment in order to keep your cool and get through stressful times. 

It's Hard Out Here ...when everything is supersized

We've all heard the hype about the hidden evil of "super sizing" and most of us have made adjustments, making us feel less guilty as we drive out of McDonalds with a medium fry as opposed to a large. But unfortunately, this danger is not just in every fast food chain out there, it is everywhere! In our cafeterias, higher-end restaurants, and even in pre-packaged foods we purchase from the grocery store. I personally believe that this specific flaw in the food industry is the most responsible for the social problem of obesity. This is because of the philosophy I live by which is "enjoy everything in moderation." If only all of America could follow this philosophy, then we could all sip our Starbucks (in a tall, not a vinti) and not have to ask for larger chairs to drink it in. Below is an article that is very short and to the point. I know that this is the most effective for us busy college students. Even if you're not a calorie counter, the difference will amaze you and will definitely show how the food industry has inflated our portions, while doing the same to our waistlines. Im not saying that I am physically capable of eating half of the cookie above, but I know that after seeing the calories of two in one cookie...I most definitely won't reach for another! Enjoy? Or happy learning!

Sorry I can not for the life of me figure out how to embed! Ugh

Source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1GdvL9/www.fooducate.com/blog/2010/08/31/four-graphic-examples-of-portion-distortion-youll-be-shocked

Link Between Internet Addiction and Depression

There is a new study showing a correlation between high internet use and depression in teenagers.  The study was conducted in China where internet addiction is becoming a major problem.  It was found that teenagers who have a dependence for the internet are almost two times more likely to be diagnosed with depression.  The researchers studied 1,041 teenagers finding how much internet time the teens used and whether it was considered healthy or unhealthy.  They were given a survey that asked how often they felt depressed, anxious, or nervous and if these feelings went away when they got on the internet.  94% of the teenagers were not considered unhealthy internet users but 6% of the 1,041 teenagers were considered to be at risk.  Nine months later, the teenagers were at risk were one and a half times more likely to be diagnosed with clinical depression. A reason that might explain this phenomenon is the fact that when one is addicted to the internet, they have less communication with people which can be an issue!  So the next time you want to spend all day on the internet, remember that this might not be such a good idea!

Its Hard Out Here...when nutrition will never be a class you take

Being a freshman journalism major, I have been taking the very first of my core classes and well, they aren't exactly designed around what I'm most interested in. A lot of people tell me that I should be an exercise science major because of my love for physical health, but I know that my true love falls in the art of communicating physical health to others around me who may otherwise never have the time or desire to learn about it. A friend of mine who is an exercise science major recently told me about a nutrition seminar led by one of our campus's head dietitians, and an infinite wealth of knowledge. You can find her contact information and others like her through the campus wellness link on the main university website. I found out so many helpful things at this seminar! It felt like I had taken an entire nutrition course in about two hours, and walked out feeling more ready than ever to take on Carolina Dining's menu. Below is a list that was given to me at the seminar containing information that is as good as gold to this girl and I hope of some relative value to those of you trying to avoid the freshman fifteen or just maintain optimal physical health.

Top 10 Healthiest Options On Campus

1. Chickefila: grilled chicken sandwich with either fruit cup or side salad (low-fat dressing on the side), grilled chicken wrap, grilled chicken salads with low fat dressing

2. Salad bar with grilled chicken/chick peas, low-fat dressing/vinaigrette

3. Santorini's: chicken gyro, side of veggies, grilled chicken breast

4. Pizza Hut: personal pan cheese pizza, meaty marinara pasta

5. Burger King: veggie burger (have to ask for them)

6. Plan-it Healthy: lean meat, whole grain and a vegetable

7. Hot food bar: grilled chicken breast (or some other lean meat), 1-2 vegetables and/or starch)

8. Einstein's: bagel thin sandwich, fruit cup (split in two), whole wheat bagel w/peanut butter (go easy on the pb), broth based soups

9. Colloquium: 1/2 broth based soup, 1/2 salad, 1/2 sandwich (not panini)

10. Horseshoe deli: turkey or ham on wheat bread with mustard or oil and vinegar, vegetables with fruit on the side

After reading this list, I was surprised at what was considered healthy, and pretty excited about going to Pizza Hut for the first time! (I always thought it was off limits) I would love to know how the class feels about these options and whether or not you guys feel like there are enough of them. Because at the end of the day, without enough options and convenience, we college students can't help but steer towards unhealthy meals that lack the nutrients we need to maintain clear minds, healthy systems and nice physiques! Is USC an easy place to be healthy, or are they making it even harder for a college student?

here's another helpful link that gives a synopsis of nutrition fit for a college student's schedule:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1bKALr/whole9life.com/2011/09/nutrition-in-60-seconds

It's Time To Get Happy!

An interesting new study led by researchers at Cornell University gives evidence that people are happiest in the morning and late at night.  Researchers observed 2.4 million tweets in 84 different english speaking countries.  They found that people tweeted things with words such as happy, brilliant, and enthusiastic, peeking in the morning and late night around 11pm to 12am.  Negative tweets were more likely to occur in the middle of the day.  When first reading this, I assumed this was because in the middle of the day we get tired from work and everyday hustles.  But it was found that negative tweets not only were more likely to happen in the middle of the day during the week, but also on the weekends.  Most people are not working on the weekends and therefore researchers actually give credit of this phenonemon to our 24 hour biological clock.  Our circadian rhythm gives us signals of when to sleep and wake and our body might be telling us that it is time to sleep around this time.  Being a college student can become quite difficult at times so instead of getting our coffee in the morning, perhaps we should be getting it in the middle of the day when our bodies want us to go back to sleep!

Its Hard Out Here...when your brain doesn't like french fries as much as you do

We've heard it time and time again, "school is making our nation's youth fat." Not that this isn't frightening enough, but in order for there to be real change and any sort of progress, we need solid evidence right? There's thousands of studies out there that draw correlations between lack of nutrition at school and increasing obesity rates. What more do people need to make some serious changes and no longer dismiss this claim that so many are speaking out against? How about effects of poor nutrition on more than just the waistline of America's future, how about their ability to learn? The importance of a child's mind to not only be eager, but capable to retain information every day both in and out of school is tremendous. Lack of proper nutrition in the bodies of these young learners is a serious problem on both the physical and mental front, so it would only make sense that robbing their bodies of nutrients would inflict harm on the young brain's ability to retain information the way it was intended to. The source is split, because kids eat both at home and in school. Some would argue that there is no use to try and change the school meal programs because of the steadily increasing amount of kids packing lunch. But not every child is lucky enough to be able to do that, and some rely solely on school meals for nutrition. That must always be kept in mind, because they are the children who need proper nutrition the most and to be able to earn an education in order to rise above the plight of poverty.

So you must be saying to yourself, "that sucks for the kids who have to eat school lunch, the meal plan isn't looking half bad!" Well I'm sorry to say, but I have read countless articles here and there about this same "junk food coma" effect coming from these lunches and it stems from any diet lacking proper nutrition...and there are plenty of statistics on unhealthy college diets. So before you brush this off as your kid sister or brother's problem and not yours, take a second and remember that time you completely blanked out on the quadratic formula after you skipped breakfast and ate a snickers instead. Weird right? I don't know about you but if nutrition is the key to staying focused, recalling information easier and less likelihood of feeling awful about myself...pass me a carrot!

Diet & nutrition have an impact on how well children learn:

The Relationship between Nutrition and Performance at School

Conventional wisdom says that nutrient deficiency is somehow connected to poor academic performance. But why is this so? Quite simply, the human brain needs a large number of nutrients, including vitamins, minerals and amino acids to produce neurotransmitters and other important brain compounds. A lack of nutrients can result in chemical abnormalities and missed connections.

Brain science is demonstrating that it doesn’t take much of a nutrition deficit to have a major effect. Brain chemistry can change as a result of a lack of a single nutrient, giving rise not only to diminished mental acuity, but also to mental/emotional disturbances and behavioral disorders such as hyperactivity, Attention Deficit Disorder, anxiety, depression, eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), drug and alcohol addiction, autism and violence.

If lack of nutrients can have these results, then can the plastic brain repair itself as a result of improved nutrition. The answer appears to be a resounding “yes.” As a result of changes in school diet in the early 1980s in New York City schools, the average performance of New York schools rose from the 41st percentile to the 51st percentile – a large gain that statistically could have no other explanation.

A more recent study from England of children with attention deficit disorder demonstrated the salutary effects of imposing a regular, nutritious diet. For a period of three to four weeks, the children were on a very restricted diet, generally consisting of: turkey, lamb, rice, potato, banana, pear, various vegetables, bottled water, sunflower oil and milk-free margarine.

The results were fairly astonishing. 76% of parents reported a worthwhile improvement in behavior. The rest reported no change. Equally interesting, for the children who improved, the subsequent introduction of food additives into the diet resulted in a deterioration in behavior for 70% of the participants.

All this goes to show that it’s not only true that you are what you eat, but that kids’ performance in school is likely to follow the type of food they eat. If they eat well, they’ll do well. If they eat junk food, they’re likely to get junk grades.

Parents who are concerned about the food that their children eat and who is looking for professional assistance may want to consider a residential program where kids are taught new habits, and trained to make much smarter decisions about food and nutrition.

Source: http://www.overweightteen.com/nutrition-school.html

Go Get That Cup of Coffee!

New research shows that women who drink two to three cups of coffee a day are fifteen percent less likely to develop depression over a ten year period compared to women who drink zero to one cups per day.  It is important to remember that this is not a cause and effect relationship but is a correlation.  As cups of coffee goes up, risk of depression goes down.  As college students, we are always contemplating on whether to make that starbucks stop in the morning or between a class (atleast I contemplate this) and now we can be reassured that we are getting something more than just feeling more awake out of this cup of coffee.  The article did not mention men in this study but I would assume that they would get the same benefits out of this coffee consumption although it is known that men are less likely to be diagnosed with clinical depression so perhaps this does not even apply to them.

Happy coffee drinking! 

It's Hard Out Here for those with families who like to chow down

So, now that we are all here at the University of South Carolina and we are for the most part independent of our families, we have come to discover that we can either go along with what they have instilled in us or the exact opposite and blaze a new trail into the unknown. For me, I have strapped on my hiking boots in a sense and I have started a new chapter in my life focused entirely on not just improving my own physical health, but other college students as well. I know from personal experience what it is like to come from a family who's idea of a good time comes from a long table who's top is completely obscured from view due to casserole after casserole and baskets of bread and sweets. I've always linked my weight issues to my family and so do most people as they discover the obvious correlation when they loosen their belts year after year...unhealthy gathering after gathering. As you can imagine, their are multitudes of articles and research on the impacts of families on their children's physical health, especially their diet, but I came upon one that looks at the source in a different way than usual. In this article, the sources come from different places besides the usual processed food-packed pantry...they come from your relationship with your family. Not only does this article bridge together the aspects of relationships, mental and physical health, it also gives hope to us trying to change for the better and perhaps fight on the larger front of obesity. I can't help but contemplate adopting the "No More Nice Girl Manifesto" and I would love to know if my classmates feel the same way. If not, that's okay...maybe its only me, but any advice that allows me to stop at five no bake cookies on Thanksgiving while not having to constantly avoid conversations with my crazy uncle Edward is worth reading.

Does Your Family Make You Fat?

The stress of family time can take a toll on your sanity… and your diet. Karen R. Koenig shares how to prevent overeating around your family by improving your relationship with your loved ones and quit playing nice! From Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever

Not surprising, if anyone can push your buttons, family members can. After all, they not only know what all your buttons are, some of them were responsible for creating them to begin with. One of the biggest problems with food and family is that they’re both around a lot — together. You’re visiting your mother, sitting in her kitchen drinking coffee surrounded by food, out with your sister for a monthly dinner, making lunch or a snack for the kids at home. When family comes to visit, it’s often for a meal, especially a holiday one.

Another reason family interactions can make you nutty is that family history goes back such a long way. Within your family of origin, you’ve been playing nice girl for decades. You’re locked into particular ways of relating that you and they are probably not even aware of. They can shoot up your blood pressure by a look or a word and make you want to beat a fast retreat before you’ve even taken off your coat.

Moreover, we like to put family in a special, idealized category — the people who have to take us in, the folks who will go to any lengths for us because we’re blood, those who love us most (or so they say). We often expect more from family than from nonfamily members, which makes it even worse when they let us down. We might let other folks get away with being ignorant or petty or having faults in general, but we have high standards for relatives, just as they do for us. Especially if you’re the Jill-of-all-trades and family caretaker, the assumptions and expectations members have of you is a setup for high stress and low satisfaction all around. And for you climbing into your kitchen cabinet and staying there.

Okay, okay already, you might be saying, I get it. Sometimes I’m more there for family members than for myself, but what can I do about it in practical terms? I just can’t stop being me and turn into someone else overnight. I have responsibilities and I’m not gonna drop ’em all and fly off to Tahiti tomorrow with Brad Pitt! Of course you’re not. Far be it from me to suggest that you go from being a goody-goody to a good-for-nothing. To give you a taste of what to do in real, practical, everyday terms, I’ve developed a No More Nice Girl Manifesto for you to live by around your family, a list of dos and don’ts for how to think and behave to give yourself that nice-ectomy you need and start turning around your relationship with food.

No More Nice Girl Manifesto for Family

DO

Maintain lots of contact with family members who are kind and caring about you and avoid ones who are energy drainers and aren’t looking out for your interests.

Make sure that family members are doing their fair share (in physical, financial, and emotional terms) to make the family unit work.

Prioritize attending family events and get-togethers rather than attend them all and feel resentful or not go and feel guilty.

Ask for help taking care of difficult family members (poor old Aunt Kathy who complains about everything to everyone) or ones whose care is time-consuming (your wheelchair-bound son with muscular dystrophy).

Seek balance in relationships. If you’re taking physical care of someone who can’t do for himself, he should at the very least be appreciative and thank you in every way he can.

Take time for yourself whether family members like it or not.

Tell family members when they are too demanding and their requests are out of line.

Teach your children to come to you when they truly need help (physical or emotional) and to work things out for themselves when they’re able.

Opt out of any adult living arrangement that is not mutual and where you feel like someone’s mother or maid. Others need to grow up and you need to let them.

Delegate tasks even if family members don’t do things as well or as quickly as you’d like. You’ve been aspiring to be superhuman all your life. Give them a chance to learn how to be responsible for themselves.

Develop and maintain close relationships with people outside the family. The experience will be refreshing and give you a new perspective on your blood ties.

DON’T

Feel sorry for family members who are such miserable characters that they’ve pushed everyone else away. They made their bed, so (except in life-or-death situations) let them lie in it.

Believe that you’re indispensable. You’d like to think so and perhaps family members would too, but you’re not. No one is.

Let any family member guilt-trip you into doing anything you don’t want to.

Feel you have to do everything yourself and that you’re weak if you ask for help.

Automatically say yes to family requests. Instead, get into the habit of saying, “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

Infantilize family members whether they’re old or young. Don’t prevent them from doing what they’re capable of and what is age appropriate.

Be a poor role model for your children by not taking care of yourself. If you insist on being one, make sure this book stays in good condition ’cause they’re gonna need it.

Try to be strong all the time. Instead, aim for mentally healthy, which is a combination of independent, dependent, and interdependent.

Let family members undermine your self-esteem, self-worth, or self-care — ever.

Allow family members to tell you that you’re a selfish you-know-what just because you want to take time for yourself. Most likely they’re the selfish ones.

Play peacemaker in family squabbles. The role of mediator is stressful and you don’t want to go from peacemaker to pacemaker.

Well, now that you’ve had your first lesson in self-care, how does it feel? Terrifying, exhilarating, overwhelming, a bit of all three? Pay attention to whether you’re thinking about food to take away uncomfortable feelings. Instead of wending your way toward the kitchen, just experience your emotions and reflect on what you’ve read and learned. Take a few deep breaths and relax.

To do today

Ask a family member to do something just for you, then sit back and enjoy the moment

Read more: http://www.tipsonhealthyliving.com/diet-and-fitness/does-your-family-make-you-fat#ixzz1Yz5Hnp4u

source: http://www.tipsonhealthyliving.com/diet-and-fitness/does-your-family-make-you-fat

Depression in Mothers Causing Children's Behavior Problems

A recent research study has found that children up to age 5 with mothers who have depression are four times more likely to have behavior problems and be diagnosed with mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, and aggression.  This is an imporant finding because children's behavior problems can lead to problems later in life such as in college and in adulthood.  These researchers found that children who spent half a day in day care are significantly less likely to experience any of these behavioral and mental problems.  The reason for this is that a depressed mother cannot always give a child the kind of attention they need in order to grow socially and emotionally.  Day care gives the child a chance to interact with other children and get the experience that they need in order to become a healthy adult.  These mothers also need the time to themselves to get themselves together and clear their minds.  I think this is very important for mothers who have any sympoms of depression to get assessed and be sure that they let their child have other forms of interactions just in case they are not fully getting what they need through their mother.  Many kids can grow out of anxiety issues and behavior problems, but some are not as lucky and it would be very difficult to be a newly independent adult in college still having these anxiety or depressive issues.


Please check out the link and see what you think about what these researchers have discovered!  


http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43361671/ns/today-parenting/